No doors for you

T4e: Hey.

JG: *Excitedly* Hey, T4e. What’s up?

T: Where are you headed to? I’m glad I bumped into you. Haven’t heard from you since.

J: Oh, I’m on my way to buy some groceries. Yeah. I’m sorry about not making it on some occasion.

T: Nah, it’s okay. I know you hate gatherings.

J: Who are you with?

T: No one *Proudly*. I finally found the courage to do things on my own. Thanks to you.

J: *Laughs shyly* Um, huh, would you like to join me if you were on your way?

T: Sure. Let’s go.

J: Tae, do you still like Cheetos Jalapeño? I’ll get you some as a welcome back gift.

T: I don’t mind. I haven’t been eating it, that would be nostalgic.

JK: Do you know why I always buy this before?

T: Because you love it so much? *Confidently*

J: I actually don’t. I just saw you one day reaching out on our group because Chimmy got Cheetos.

T: What?

J: Yeah. I immediately thought it gets your attention. And it does when I tried bringing a huge ass pack in class.

T: I’d eat anything if I’m hungry.

J: Sucks that I save up every week to afford that back then just to know it wasn’t your favorite.

T: You’re being funny.

J: I’m trying to be.

T: Good job, it’s working.

J: Now you’re finally talking.

T: Are you sure you’re ready for this conversation?

J: I guess I’ll never be. I’m still terrified.

T: I still don’t get you.

J: I don’t want to start a conversation I can’t end.

T: It doesn’t have to end.

T4e was hinting on a trigger. They both owned the Pandora box but neither of them were ready to pop it open. It was two years since they last talked and it wasn’t a conversation two friends would want to have. JG was in a serious relationship close to marriage. He admits that his partner saved him emotionally. How would T4e back himself up when he didn’t know what destroyed JG back then?

J: *Awkwardly interrupted* You know someone’s waiting for me at home. I guess we’ll need more than a cup of coffee to start right?

T: Oh, yeah. Tell Fanny I said hi.

J: You can greet her yourself. Want to come visit my place?

Before T4e could answer, the staff from parking called JG’s attention. His car was blocking the entrance doors.

J: *Hurriedly* Come with me T4e. Hurry.

T: But — okay.

T4e used to sit in the front seat with JG. He was carrying some of his groceries so he thought maybe he’s good at the backseat.

J: Sit here.

JG was directing T4e beside him where he’s supposed to sit – the front seat. He was a little hesistant but they were in a hurry so he hurriedly went for the front seat.

T: Happy now?

J: That’s where you’re supposed to sit.

T4e was obviously nervous and JG noticed it as he was starting to look away everytime JG clears his throat trying to initiate a conversation. What are two good friends to talk about anyway after getting distant for years, right? JG thought. Now he’s lost his focus and slowly starting to bite on his lips.

T: Uh, this might be a little off – but can you drop me off at the 3rd street?

T4e broke the awkward silence and decided it wasn’t the perfect time to reconnect. He just wasn’t ready yet. And he still had issues to fix for himself before he could deal with JG.

J: Why? I thought we’re visiting my house? It’s kinda new now, you know.

T: I’m honored to be invited really but I had an appointment before we bumped into each other.

J: Oh, is that so. Sorry for dragging you earlier. I was just excited to see you again.

T: Nah, it’s okay. Maybe next time?

J: *Disappointed smile* Will there ever be a next time?

T: I’ll make sure of it. Maybe after another year? *jokingly laughs*

They finally reached the 3rd street. T4e was getting ready to fix his groceries. He noticed something at the back of JG’s car and it made him think he did the right decision of letting him go for now. JG was peeking through the mirror looking at T4e, not putting his eyes away on him until T4e went back to the front window next to JG and bid goodbye.

J: You’re all good?

T: Yeah, thank you for the company, and the Cheetos. *Laughs*

J: I’m glad I saw you today. Promise me next time, you’ll visit.

T: I’ll try. Goodbye and eye on the road.

Before JG could speak, T4e hurriedly walked away as if he was going to meet someone and is already so late. JG can’t take his eyes off T4e. It was two years since they last talked and saw each other. An awful lot have happened in those years but some things doesn’t change in the most stubborn way. He was waiting for T4e to look back and maybe give him a wave like he used to but he didn’t this time. He lost the sight of him, just like that.

———— Earlier.

T4e was excited to get some groceries. He’s finally spending his own money after months of being in a hiatus looking for a job. It was in the middle of summer when he decided he’s going for his dream job and he got in. There are not much Korean products in Europe so he had to hoard before getting on the plane the following week.

T4e: Mom, would you like to go with me? I’m grocery shopping today.

M: I don’t feel like going honey, just buy me some Kimchi and tofu please.

T4e’s family house is just a few blocks away from the shopping center so he’s used to walking the street even back then when he was still in school. He was forced to stop half way across the entrance when he saw someone so familiar walking towards his way. He was hesitant to continue his steps but it was too late when his mind thought he needed to at least know he was there. It was JG.

———— You should’ve just ran, T4e.